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I've had a lot of motivation to write lately, but no time to do it, which leaves me feeling very frustrated and aimless, in a way.

It kind of reminds me of Virginia Woolf's "angel in the house" essay, because it seems like I just have so many other things that *have* to get done, writing falls down to a very low priority. But since the other things don't get done, either, I'm left wondering ....... what exactly do I do all day?

I suspect I'm just subsisting.

(Review of Sweeney Todd later, if anybody was expecting and/or wanting to see that. It just so happens that Sweeney left me extremely motivated to write, but since it's late now and I have Temple in the morning, I can't write. I have to go to bed. Darn sleep.)
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I really want to move out. Can't do it at this point, though, at least, not without a roommate.

I've been thinking about getting back into writing, too. That's a time issue. Actually, that's not true; it's more of a tiredness issue. I made a pact with myself not to write when I'm tired anymore, because my characters start getting really emotional and weepy, and crying at the drop of a hat --- it's awkward. And then I have to try to make them seem like normal, well-adjusted people again. Especially tough when the characters are male. And I'm always tired.

*sigh* I seem to be getting more and more dissatisfied, in general. If I may borrow a quote, "I reek of discontentment." Something needs to change, or I may just pull my hair out.
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I was watching Sliding Doors again the other day, and it reminded me of an idea I'd had awhile back for a Mansfield Park story that used the same conceit. That is, we'd get alternate storylines in which Fanny either does or does not accept Henry in Portsmouth. I even went so far as to flesh the story out a little bit in my head.

There's still the problem of how such a premise would work on paper, as opposed to film. But I really want to try it. I just wish I had the time/attention span to write it.

(Gah! My sisters just put Shipwrecked on. It's been forever since I've seen that movie! Hearing the music made me giggle.)
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I've been trying to figure out exactly what has gotten me out of the habit of posting. I think it's mostly just being really busy/preoccupied. Some of it, though, has to do with the fact that the only truly interesting thing going on---or at least, interesting to me---is something I'm still not sure about, and until I get some kind of resolution on the "does he like me that way or not?" question, I don't really want to talk about it.

By the way, I did end up signing up for NaNo---but only because they sent me a reminder and I couldn't stop myself from clicking on the link. ;)

Oh, well. Here's to another November of kicking myself for not writing.
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Y'know, I'd really like to try that whole NaNo thing again this year (failed dismally last year), but seeing as how I barely have time to *post,* let alone write, I'm thinking it's probably a bad idea.

Still, it's tempting.
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So sleepy.

Want to write, but too sleepy. I keep telling myself, maybe I'll be able to write tomorrow. But I have class in the morning, then work in the afternoon until late at night. Next day, I work in the morning, then have orthodontist appointment. So probably most reasonable day to shoot for, writing-wise, is Friday. And this makes me sad. And sleepy.

Have been up for about 17 hours, much more than I'm used to. Haven't written anything in my journal for tomorrow's class yet. Must get on that. Mary Wollstonecraft. W00t.

Hazardous day at school. Treated myself to McDonald's as a reward for getting through it unscathed. Who lets teenagers drive, anyway?
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Time for my compulsory Thursday night "Woe is me!" post.

I'm feeling depressed at the moment, but I'm 99% sure it's just because I've been up for 18 hours. I can't go to bed until this essay is written, after which I will be free to enjoy tomorrow.

I really hate writing about literature.

NaNo's not going well at all. I have about 1200 words now (haven't updated my profile yet. didn't see the point for such small progress). Think I might be able to work on it on Saturday. Tomorrow's just too full. Am beginning to think it would be better if I concentrated more on finishing BL instead of distracting myself with this other story.

*sigh* Back to trying to write about imagery.
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*whimper* How am I supposed to write 1000 words on the use of irony? I'm not that verbose. In fact, I find that level of verbosity repellent.

gabbydwg: (let's get this party started)
I signed up for NaNo today.
gabbydwg: (Default)
Weird. I think Arrested Development is the first TV show to inspire me to fanfic.

In other words, I might have something written by the end of the week. *hope I didn't jinx myself*
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Warning: This post may assume knowledge of my previous writing, so if you haven't read Blind Luck, be ready to not understand a word of what I'm saying. *g*

So *ahem* I meant to spend today almost totally writing, but of course ended up getting distracted. This time with casting my story. After figuring out which actors/actresses looked like several of my characters, I then had to look up pictures on the internet that matched my characters' personas. Obviously. *g*

Was only able to find a couple for Christopher---and only approximate matches at that---but had much better luck with Georgiana. As for the others --- gosh, have barely tried yet. I did find Anne de Bourgh, or rather, the actress I think looks most like my Anne de Bourgh, but no pictures that matched Anne yet. And I had someone in mind for Darcy, but forgot who it was while in the middle of looking up Anne. Hm.

sweet, innocent Georgiana

A more mature Georgiana--maybe ten years after my story (yes, I know these are the wrong time period.)

As I said, Christopher is harder to pin down. In my head, he's sort of a weird amalgam of Johnny Depp and Christian Bale. Mostly Johnny Depp, though. And I can't think of any older actors to match Olivia de Havilland, because nobody back then was really the type. The leading men were always so dapper and debonair then. However, trying to find a picture of young!Johnny that matches young!Christopher is next to impossible---mostly because JD had such a baby face back then! (Case in point.) But there aren't really any younger actors that have the right look. Mature!Johnny isn't any easier because he almost always sports era-inappropriate hair or other styles. And although Johnny has aged remarkably well, he still looks older than Christopher's 21. I was able to find these two pictures, however, that at least convey the correct air and attitude.

hostile!Christopher (and not just 'cause he's seeing red. hee hee.)

watchful and wary

Anyway, back to the writing.

ETA: Oh, this one's good. That is, if you ignore the horribly inappropriate attire. And the earring. And the tattoo. Grrr. Anyway, it's almost thin enough to be Christopher (really can't find anybody that emaciated, unless it's Jude Law, who's always seemed really skinny to me), and about the right age, too. So I figure I can forgive the whole 20th century-ness of it. After all, I forgave Olivia de Havilland's period-inappropriate styles. :)
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Okay, I found myself very bored today, so decided to do this meme, which I fell in love with when [ profile] leksa did it.

Before looking at the questions, pick twelve characters. (I looked at the questions first, but I shall try to pick similar characters to the ones I would have chosen if I didn't have an idea of what the questions would be. I'm anal like that. Oops. Probably shouldn't have said "anal.")

Some of these are rather obvious, and since I think all my friends are Austen fans, I've decided to err on the side of caution and list the sources for all but Austen characters.
1. Javert (Les Miserables)
2. Frederick Wentworth (yeah)
3. Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind)
4. Henry Tilney (uh huh)
5. Fanny Price (ditto)
6. Quentin Chandler (Practice to Deceive, by Patricia Veryan)
7. Sir Percy Blakeney (Scarlet Pimpernel)
8. Dr. Stephen Maturin (Master & Commander, etc. etc.)
9. Gwendolyn Rossiter (League of Jewelled Men series, Patricia Veryan)
10. Eponine Thenardier (Les Miserables)
11. Marius Pontmercy (ditto)
12. Horatio Hornblower (um, yeah, okay. Horatio Hornblower)

Here be questions )

Interesting side-note: I just heard my sister say to my dad: "Eeewwwwww! You just referred to yourself as a sugardaddy!"
gabbydwg: (Default)
Not going to do the banned books meme -- haven't read enough of them. ;)

I got quite a bit of writing done today, I think -- over 1200 words. Am very pleased with myself. I hope the next 1200 come as fast. *bounce*
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Argh! That's it. I just can't write Darcy. I figured out that it wasn't writers' block last night when I sat down to write some backstory for Christopher and seven or eight pages flowed out. So it has to be Darcy. I will have to find a way to write this chapter, but after this, he is going to make himself very scarce. Stupid man who won't talk. *grumble*
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Got a request for BL in the Tea Room. Makes me feel good. *warm fuzzies*

Other things that happened today, in no particular order:

1. My sisters' crushes came over today so my sisters could dye one of the boys' hair. He is joining the Marines in a couple months, and thought he'd dye his hair pink one last time before joining.

2. Had my Composition final. Hope I didn't screw it up too badly. Hated my teacher, so am glad it's over, even if I don't get a good grade.

3. Went over my piano repertoire on the keyboard. It just isn't the same. But I think I've said that before.

4. My sisters forced my dad to watch Sweeney Todd. He didn't like it.

5. It rained really hard. Made the house so much more comfortable.
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This is Finals Week at PBCC. Squee! Saturday is my last class for the summer. I can't wait for it all to be over, then I can concentrate on writing again. And maybe start reading again, too.

*looks around at laundry* Oh yeah, and there's that. *sigh*

Incidentally, I did write a little bit last night. About 500 words. Not too bad. At least I know I'm not stuck, just pressed for time. I'm trying to think of a way I can continue writing over the next week or two. We're going to visit my grandparents in Georgia, and they don't have internet. Maybe I can put everything on a disk....? Hmm.

I'm almost hoping we'll have a hurricane warning so I can have an excuse to bring my own 'puter with me, like I did last time. I'll have to promise not to get on the internet while I'm there, though, 'cause last time it cost upwards of $300 in telephone charges. Oh, my dad will probably bring his laptop, so I can just use that. For writing, not internet. No internet in Eastman. And I have a few Netflix I can take with me, too, so it won't all be boredom.

Ooh, I'll have to buy a camera. Last time we went to Georgia I brought pics back to the office, and Judy really liked them. And maybe I can force myself to visit my aunt and uncle while I'm there, too. *grimace*

Ugh, and I'll have to get some Allegra or something. I'm horribly allergic to my grandmother's chihuahua.
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I have an essay due Tuesday, a research paper due next Saturday, and my room is about to swallow me up in the sea of laundry that has been piling up the last few weeks. I came into my room to get started on that research paper, intending to write some BL if I couldn't resist Procrastination, but of course I'm fiddling with my LJ instead.

*sigh* It will get done. I shall conquer this.
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I always know I have a crush on someone when my own characters start taking on that person's mannerisms -- occasionally even the females.

Such is the case with Matthew Macfadyen. You know that thing he does, that lean-forward-confidentially thing? It was even mentioned in an article once. Yeah, that one. I love that. So now my own CB has started to do that. Only in my imagination, though. Which is probably a good thing, because after the crush fades, he probably won't be doing that anymore, and we can't have that kind of inconsistency, now, can we?

Not that it matters, since I still can't get any bloody writing done. *grumble, grumble*
gabbydwg: (Default)
Long, disjointed ramble about school, boys, work, writing, and movie stars.....yeah )
gabbydwg: (Default)
I've decided not to stress over economics. This is mostly because I think it's probably the same way algebra was for me: I expected it to be really hard, so I thought I didn't get it, when actually I did, it was just much easier than I expected. Once I relaxed with algebra, it clicked, and I'm sure it'll be the same for economics. :)

In other news, I downloaded Writer's Cafe on recommendation from [ profile] wendybarron. I've only gotten a chance to tinker with it a little bit, but it seems like exactly what I need to help keep my stories straight. As God is my witness, I will never forget to follow up on a plot point again!! *brandishes radish in the air*


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